This is my prayer.

I swear. 


I'm as free as my hair. 

Except when my hair does this. Then I actually don't enjoy being as free as my hair. 


I know I reference this song a whole lot. It's because it's the ultimate stand-up-for-yourself-and-be-who-you-are song. That's what I'm all about. 


Oh you see that picture in the corner/background of my picture? That's a picture of me on my 21st birthday. Yep. I love looking at pictures of myself. I also enjoy making myself laugh. HA! 






I am my hair. 

My school story.

I have this fear of people being judgmental towards me and my life.  And I truly believe that it's pretty darn easy to judge when you don't have the whole story. Heck I do all the time. It's something I really need to work on - being less judgmental and jumping to conclusions about people, especially when I really don't know the person enough to judge. So I'm going to spill out my whole story about school and my life in the past four years. I don't care if not a lot of you read it, just as long as it's out there for people to see. THEN you can fairly judge. 


So I graduated in 2008 from high school (ohhh gross, it's been four years).  As a senior, I was planning what I was going to do after high school, like most kids do. ASU was an option, U of A was an option (yes I was/am a fan of the school), even community colleges were an option. Out of state colleges were only kind of an option... They were more like dreams  - like "Oh yeah! It would be so much to move to California or North Carolina and live with family and go to school!" Looking back now, that would have been a much worse idea than what I finally decided. Eventually I decided on Brigham Young University - Idaho. Yep, up in Rexburg, Idaho. The cutest, smallest college town ever. All the details worked out for me to go up there the fall after I graduated. My parents drove me up, moved me into a dorm, then left me there alone. I got to visit my sister who lives in Salt Lake City a couple of times, and came home for Christmas break, but overall spent an entire school year away from my family and natural habitat (AZ).  Now as I say "school year", I'm like really that wasn't that long. But at the time... IT WAS FOREVER. 


I did okay in school the first semester being there. The second? Not so great. Not even a little bit. I had like a 1.7 GPA at the end. Not joking. Being completely honest with you all. I don't know what it was. I LOVED my roommates. They are all still my best of friends to this day. I still talk to all 5 that I had over the two semesters. (Roomies for life!) We were tight. I also met a few other people up there that really impacted my life (Kev, Brett, Jacob, Braden).  If I listed you, just know that I still value the friendship we share/d.  I think what it boiled down to is that I was having too much fun. I did not put enough focus on my studies. Blah blah blah. It was definitely a life and learning experience. Without a doubt. 


I look back on that year and wonder "who was I?" I have no idea, guys. All I know is that I am not the same person now. But in a good way. I just needed to grow up a little lot.  And you know what else I learned? I can't live without my family. No matter how much they drive me insane, and no matter how many times I think "I want to move out", I still want to be around them all the time. 


Plus one of the biggest blessings that came out of that year being a total bust is that not more than four weeks after being home, Sky and I started dating. It was a whirlwind romance. Kind of. It is a love based on many years of friendship. True love, really. Anyways... This change was probably the one thing that changed me the most - for the good. I won't drag this out with those details, but I couldn't be happier with where I am with Sky & in my life in general. 


So that takes care of ONE year out of high school. I am now almost four years out. So the past three school years (school years is how I base my life. Not regular years... school years) I have been at MCC. I hate it, btw. I've obviously had some great classes/teachers, but the way they run that school... blegh. I've switched my major about 1,000,000,000,000 times. Just kidding... more like 6 times. I think. Possibly more. 


So here we are to now. In May I'll finally be getting my Associate's degree.  That year at BYU-I didn't count academically for me at all. So I would say three years is pretty good for an Associates. If you're friends with me on FB, you probably saw the picture I posted of my "Congrats" from ASU saying they accepted me. So yay! That's the final step. Two years there and I will have my Bachelor's degree in Speech & Hearing Science. Then I will feel truly accomplished and I will be able to let out a humongous sigh. 


So maybe I didn't do it as quickly as most. But you know what? There's nothing wrong with me being really proud of myself and how hard I have worked. It's not my family or very very very close friends  (Alixx) that I worry about judging me. I know they are all incredibly proud and supportive. It's all the people that don't truly know me... You may be in my life, but do you really know me? Probably not. I know I shouldn't care at all. School has always been, and always will be a struggle for me. I'm not a naturally awesome student. I work very hard. And I deserve everything I work for. K, thanks. 

Valentine's Day.

I actually like Valentine's Day. I enjoy having an excuse to make my BF some goodies and a homemade card. But do you see me talking about this ALL OVER Facebook? No.  


I'm sorry, but people on Facebook make me so angry on Valentine's Day (actually all holidays, but that's a different issue). You people literally make me a cynic of love. It's all you mushy-gushy braggers that make me look at my computer and just wonder "why." That's all though. Why. 


Here are some things I read on Valentine's Day, and what I assume you all do - try to one-up everyone else: 

• A giant teddy bear was waiting for me this morning!  Mine got me a freaking lion. Suck on that.

• Oh just a dozen red roses were waiting for me when I woke up! Best significant other ever!   Yeah, well 3 months ago, my significant other found a field, bought said field, planted the entire thing with red rose bushes, and this morning he woke me up early to drive me to the field. This beats your dozen.

• Just got a call from the significant other!! Couple's massage and wine by the fire! I don't even have anything to fake trump this. It just makes me put my this-is-dull-face on and be disgusted. I don't want to know that.

Then there are those that really are cynics and hate love. You annoy me as well. 

• Ugh. Alone again! Singles Awareness Day! I just have never been one of those people. Even when I was single. As my good friend Alixx says "I'm single, but I'm not celebrating Single's Awareness Day. I celebrate V-day. I'M LOVED!" So my peeps, get a better attitude about it like Alixx. She's awesome.  

I could just go on and on about this. I don't hate V-day because stores monopolize on sales of V-day crap, I don't hate it because I'm alone (which I am obviously not, and haven't been the past 3 years). I hate it because you all ruin it for me.  And it is NOT because I'm jealous (which I'm sure is your main goal). Words couldn't even describe how excited I was yesterday to just go home after a 12 hour work/school day (including an insanely tough Anatomy lab practical) and just hang out with my BF. But why do I have to tell you all that on Facebook? I don't. I'm going to keep my day of love to myself. Because that's the point of it. 


I don't care if you're loved. I don't care if you love love. I don't care what you get/give. I DON'T CARE. It's days like these I seriously consider deleting my FB account. Rant over.